A blog that used to be about things

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Saviory

Potential good news in the world of vuvuzela acceptance:

Teen sensations Brenda Song and Justin Bieber have reportedly inked a major endorsement deal with an upcoming candy in the works.

The candy the sensational young stars have supposedly agreed to endorse is the tentatively titled, Vuvuzela Balls, which is yet to be released.

The bold was in the original article. Will this be the vuvuzela's Sun City? Probably not. Rather than glibly pass along some stupid news article/press release, I actually followed the story back to its source.

The source of the story is not even a boring press release, but instead what appears to be a 21st Century Howl:

Teen sensations Brenda Song and Justin Bieber have agreed to appear in a commercial for the new candy called Vuvuzela Balls.

The bite size sweet morsels taste a little bit like M&Ms except more chocolaty, shell-less, and a little bit noisier.

The candy was developed by Hans Von Stuppenhauser, a German candy confectioner who lives in Pittsburgh.

But who was born in a German Concentration Camp, Stalag 7713. Von Stuppenhauser has been credited with inventing other candies.

Such as Gummy Skunks, Jolly Farmer, Hot Damn Tamales, and Raisinets on A Stick. In the commercial for Vuvuzela Balls, Brenda is shown wearing a tiny little bitty shocking pink bikini.

And Justin is shown wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs official swimsuit. The happy teenage couple is walking along the beach.

At Pensacola, Florida. Suddenly Brenda comes upon a Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill Tar Ball. She bends down to pick it up thinking that it is a big chocolate ball.

Justin slaps her hand just as Brenda is about to put the damn tar ball in her mouth. He tells her not to eat it because it’s a friggin tar ball and not an edible chocolate ball. In the next scene Brenda and Justin are shown riding a golf cart along Pensacola Beach and passing out samples of Vuvuzela Balls to the scantily clad young teenage girls.

Greatest minds of some generation, at least. Here is the better A.U.A.A. track:

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